I’ve been meaning to write this page for a while now because I think it might be very helpful to those of you who are in the same situation I was in, many moons ago…
I was 26 years old and had started to feel the horrific (chuckling, now 🙂 ) magnetic pull towards 30. I was no longer in my early 20s. No. I was in my late 20s and the next thing I’d know I’d be 30 and I STILL wouldn’t know what I wanted to do with my life! It was really stressing me out.
My whole life I’d thought that my ‘passion’ would fall out of the sky and bonk me on the head and then I’d be like, “This is what I want to do!! YES!” And then I’d do it. But noooooo….here I was at 26 still with no idea of what I wanted to ‘do’ career-wise. Sigh. It was such an awful feeling.
Then: one night I had a revelation. 🙂
I thought: “OK, so I have no idea what I want to do – but I do know how I want to FEEL in life! So, why don’t I just go with that? During my 20s I’ll just do things that make me feel how I know I want to feel and then in my 30s I can do. I’ll worry about that when I hit 30.” It was a fine plan. Delay the doing. (O Clever Mind! haha)
So how did I want to feel? Well…I knew that I wanted my life to feel Romantic and I knew that I wanted to feel like I was on an Adventure. I wanted it to feel poetic and soft-around-the-edges, like the blurry black and white photographs I was taking. Essentially, I wanted to feel like the world I inhabited was a beautiful, soft-focus, romantic, creative experience.
So, I went with that and the stress of being 26 and not knowing what in the world I was going to do with my life just melted away.
At 26 I moved to Prague in 1993 and stayed until mid 1994 and my life did feel exactly how I wanted it to feel.
This ‘trick’ worked so well that I didn’t bother with the ‘doing’ part in my 30s either and just continued with the ‘feeling’ I wanted. Of course I did end up ‘doing’ but it all just ended up being a by-product of the feeling – I never could have planned the Doing I’ve done, no way!
Of course, this will resonate more with people with a strongly placed Neptune (conjunct one of your personal planets: Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars), Pisces planets, planets in the 12th house, Saturn in Pisces, planets in water signs (Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces) OR if you happen to be going through a Neptune transit right now!
Still, I think that many will resonate with choosing how to Feel over just what you want to Do. How pedestrian just plain old ‘doing’ is! Our culture values Doing so much yet it’s only a tiny part of Being and Living!
I’d love to hear how others want to Feel!
I have Neptune conjunct my Mercury in Scorpio in the first house exactly trine my Saturn in Pisces in the 5th house so you can see that how I want to feel is verrrrrrry Neptunian, indeed – but with a dash of Sagittarian adventure (my Sun/Venus are in Sagittarius)
How you want to feel is probably quite different from how I want to feel but it’s wonderful to actually get in touch with this part of yourself so that you can begin to generate that feeling and bring it out into the light of your life! Especially if the whole ‘what to do’ thing is stressing you out or bringing you down 🙂
If you don’t know how to generate your chart so you can find out how Neptunian or watery/feeling-oriented you are 🙂 you can do so here.
Oh, I just realized that taking the Jungian Meyers-Briggs Personality Test will probably show you how ‘feeling-oriented’ you are, too. I’m an INFJ (introverted, intuitive, feeling, judger) and through my ~LightCenter~ facebook page I discovered that about 90% of the people who like my website are INFJs, too! Cool.
So here’s to Being the Feeling you Want to Feel! ????
I’d love to hear how you want to feel!